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September 12th, 2006
12:39 pm - this is weird...
wow i have not wrote in this thing in a long time...the last enrty was when me and steve broke up...alot has changed since then. all for the better too...at least i think so. im so bored at school...i dont like it usually i myspace for a few but today its being gay!im still working at the palace but hopefully not for too much longer and i am still single...sadly. but its not really all that bad....i dotn really think about untill im around couples which happen all the time latley so yeah i guess it does suck...its like the great dane cook sasy when you have no one everyone else has someone and your outside in the rain while their inside enjoying the party....things could be worse so i really have nothin to bitch about right now...
LO
Current Mood:  bored
Current Music: josh hoge "360"
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June 5th, 2006
10:33 am - What if i could go back...
the last couple of days have been weird....i cant stop thinking about steve and it depresses me to no end. i feel broken...every little thing reminds me of him.but then most days im fine and i dont think about him at all.there are certain points in my day where i begin to feel whole again and i begin thinking about the "what if" like things with school and if i decide not be abea nurse anymore, of things with friends like am i going to get completely drunk off my ass again, or the most confusing of them all...do i want to get back together with an ex.things are different this time around, i have changed, and so has he, but i think i fucked any second chance up the first time i fucked up.i was stupid and i payed for it too.i start to begin thinking that my feeling for him are coming back, but then i get scared and try and shut them out.i fucked up so bad its not even funny.karma came back...hard-core and god did it get me good.so good that i have lost my smile...
i just want my smile back....it may be coming back though...slowly.
Current Mood:  confused
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May 9th, 2006
10:37 am - Im Single...WOO HOO!
So yes it is tru i am no longer with steve anymore.And to be honest i am not upset about it anymore either. After thinking about or relationship i came to the realization that it was pretty nuch about going to bars,getting drunk, and having sex.Thats all we did.Granted it was alot of fun but not really a relationship.We are better off just being friends if that, and that how we should have left it. In then end i feel like i wasted so much of my time with him, i guess i was too caught up in the moment to realize it at the time. But im over it now and like i said if anything can come from all of this its that maybe one day we can be friends b/c he is a great guy just not a great guy for me to be in a relationship with.And besies i have already got my eye on someone else...
LO
Current Mood:  excited
Current Music: Blue October "Hate Me"
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May 1st, 2006
09:22 am - My eyes burn b/c of you!
With love...Tears soon follow.
Last night i cried...Alot!
Im scared i may fallling for him...
I dont want to fall in love...
I dont want to cry anymore!
Current Mood:  frustrated
Current Music: Faith Hill "Cry"
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April 3rd, 2006
10:52 am - Meeting the parents
so sunday was pretty exciting. Steve acam over and met my parents...well he pretty much met my entire family.Of course my day tried being all intimidating and tuff, but i thought him and steve got along pretty well. my mom really liked him and i think everyone else did as well.i was so nervous, but everything got better when he got there. it would have been cooler if ashley had justin there but things happen. but yeah all in all it was good nad i had a fun time. i just hope i have as much fun meeting steves parents when the time comes.
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March 27th, 2006
11:43 am - I Got A KEY.....
Life for me at this very bored yet amazing. i spent the day over at steves and most of my evening over aat ashleys. i miss her. Later on i wentto nicoles whee i got ready with tricia nad the tree of us went out to tiki bobs. i must say i didn't have as much fun as i have there on a tuesday night. After we hung out at the dorm for abit then i went back to steves. i like sleeping in his bed. i slept alone too he didnt come home until 10 o' clock in the morning. oh i forgot the best part...i got a key to his apartment. is that bad that i am so excited about a silly little key. to me that seems like a lot.maybee it's just me...
: )
LO
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Hinder "lips of an angel"
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March 13th, 2006
11:48 am - amazing yet scary feelings
At this moment my life is amazing. yet i am feeling scared. i am falling in love. i am falling in love with a gut that i know has feelings towards me but i fear they are no where near as strong as mine are for him. thats what scares me. i can tell him how i feel and take the risk of rejection. i dont want to loose him. the last week or so i thought i was getting bored and i was feeling confused as to what it was i wanted. then i spent saturday night through sunday morning with him and my mind was made up. with him i feel something that i cant really explain. i get butterflies when ever he is around and i get nervous whn i know i am going to see him. everyone i talk to says that i glow and am all smile when ever i speak of him. what does this mean. am i falling in love with him or is this some type of infatuation with him. i dont know what this is but i do know i dont want to loose it, and im scared if i talk to him or tell him how i am feeling i will. how do i keep him without scareing him away? what should i do?...i am so confused. do i keep my feelings inside? or do i take that risk and tell him how i feel. im not sure if i am willing to take the risk that could leave me broken hearted...i dont want to loose him.
: )
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March 9th, 2006
02:15 pm - A Calm State of Mind
Life is good...for now or at least thats the way it works for the most part. but im not complaining. since i have gotten back from florida not much has really happened, i have not even spent time with steve since i got back.three weeks without him is starting to feel like forever.i miss my peeps....i dont really get to hang out with people any more...their either already busy or i am...i hate it!
<3
LO
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: DJ Stock (Steve)-an original
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March 6th, 2006
11:52 am - Im Back.....
Thats right im back from florida! my vacation was great surprisingly...i had a good time. I was ready to come home too...i missed everyone!
: )
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February 16th, 2006
10:22 am - In the now...
so my valentines day was ok....ok not really. i had to work so i didnt get to see steve. but i went to his place last night and stayed...it was fun as usual. this weekend is starting to look like one big party!sweet! Friday im going to ashleys to hang with some people and steve is suppoesed to come with all his djing stuff. its gunna be fun! then saturday omg...the biggest party i will ever probably go to in my life! The rave is saturday and omg i am so excited for this thing. If anyone is interested in going and wants info hit me up and ill see what i can do for you.(248-459-7246)It's gunna be awesome! but yeah thats my life right now...
Lena
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: DJ Tiesto - techno
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